I apologize for delaying this longer than expected, but I want Megan Fox over bar skank. I’m sure everyone’s first question is “You are posting this barely after noon, are you drunk already??” Well, lucky for you I had a LONG night out last night, so I’m keeping up my end of the bargain. *Just saw a commercial for Listerine Smart Rinse, that stuff looks awesome* The topic today is over greatness from college. The Valley suggested memorable moments from College Station, and who the power-players were back in the days. I thought that was a great idea, but realized I couldn’t nail down any single moments, with 1 or 2 exceptions, that were significantly better than any others. I was very fortunate to have the Lindsay Lohan social life, and memories came almost weekly. So I have decided to put together my 5 favorite events since I was 18. Most of them happened more than once, some quite regularly. But they are the things that I looked forward to most, or bring the most joy to my life now. In no way to I mean to glorify drinking, but for better or worse, it is a very active part of my life. There will be a few specific moments mentioned/mixed in, but it focuses on the events that made my 6 year marathon worth every second. These are no specific order, just a compilation of my favorite Lindsay Lohan events.
1. Outback Nights- This happened primarily during my second tour of duty in Cstat, but The Outback was the beginning of far too many great nights. When most people go to a restaurant, it is natural to have the hostess seat you at a table. *new Halo Commercial-GAY* But when we walked into The Outback, we blew by the hostess and propped ourselves up at the bar, primarily because the hostess was a skank-in-training/minor. We would immediately order vodka-sodas or wine, because beer was absolutely not to be had at these events. The intent was always to have a drink or 2 and dinner, but nothing is ever at it seems. Quite often it would turn into a “relax”-fest and we would all end up at Northgate. The most common night was Sunday, because the Attorney loved to end the weekend with a fine dinner and a nice glass of wine. Those Sundays were an absolute blast; I’m looking forward to when Jersey Shore, Bad Boy, Future, and I can do the same thing. Hopefully whatever restaurant we choose will fear our presence as much as The Outback Cstat feared us. My best memory was actually early my last year down there. Myself, Attorney, Nugget, and Model all had but a small intent for the evening of dinner and minimal drinks. After I finished my salmon, one of them turned to me and said, “A white man eating salmon at The Outback, never seen that before.” Apparently white people don’t eat salmon, who knew??? Moving on…After running up about a $250 tab-on a Sunday-we decided that the piano man at Corner Bar needed our harassment. We proceeded to sit front and center, demand horrible songs, antagonize this guy until we were paying $20 a song, and pretty much ruin the night for anyone else involved. At this point, Attorney has distanced himself from the three of us, as representing us in court is different from associating with us this “relaxed.” But there is one way to bring Attorney back in the fray, a CRACK PIPE!!!!!! For those of you who have not had a Crack Pipe from Madhatters in College Station, you are missing out. They are hands down the greatest shot available to mankind. After a few rounds of Crack Pipes, the night ended unceremoniously, but when combining The Outback, Corner Piano Man, Attorney, Model, and Nugget, it is a very difficult night to top.
2. Music- For those of you who are not regularly moved or spoken to by music, this one may be tougher to understand. When I was in high school, I was the typical student, listening the garbage Top 40 music, Eminem, Blink-182, and the typical “I-need-to-be-cool” music. In College Station, I started listening to Texas Country/Southern Rock (too similar to try to explain). It started with Cross Canadian Ragweed, quickly added Randy Rogers, and blossomed into an all-out obsession. Because I am a huge nerd at heart, little things speak to me, such as a song that resonates, I am a glutton for concerts. I cannot count how many Randy Rogers concerts at Hurricane Harry’s I attended. They are a great place to pick up chicks, because women are apparently very moved by music as well…anytime you can get a woman emotional, you are at a great advantage. Chilifest and Ziegfest are essentially nirvana for a person like me; beautiful women, REAL music, and more beer than I could drink in a lifetime. If you get the opportunity to go, DO IT IN A HEARTBEAT!!!!
3. House Parties- So my second year in Cstat, I moved into a house with Law, Ginger, and Short Bus. The most unfortunate aspect of this was next door, we had 4 more of our party boys move in. It was like a frat house where you didn’t have to pay for friends and didn’t kick people out…at least regularly. A typical Friday and/or Saturday consisted of one of us getting off work, picking up a keg for $40 -yes, you read that right, $40-, 2 handles of cheap vodka for date-rape-in-a-cup, and an s-load of plastic cups. We were going to kick everyone’s rear in beer pong or so help us god, they were paying for us to get “relaxed” instead of the other way around. I would occasionally be out, and get invited by some random person to an after party AT MY OWN HOUSE! I have recently petitioned the City of College Station to put a historical landmark outside that say “One this site, from 2005-2007, more outrageous actions of ill-repute occurred than any moron could imagine.” I don’t have much hope for the cause, so please donate any available funds.
4. Best Buy- For those of you who don’t know, I have been at Best Buy since October, 2003. I worked there full time all the way through school, and still work a shift or two a week. I have a firm belief it is a great job to get someone through college. It keeps you away from home during the holidays when family is around, and forces you to wake up at 5:30am on Saturdays after a long night out “relaxing.” *New DirecTV commercial about the Cowboys & Redskins is awesome* I have made so many lasting friendships from braving the depths of hell with these people, I am not sure many people can understand. And while I love Hitler on a personal level (code name for one of my GMs), there are times he was absolute Nazi about missing a belt loop or the wrong shoe string colors. I cannot tell you how many great Christmas parties, softball tournaments, and basketball tournaments led to just absolute greatness. I was doned “The White Willie Mays” one year, I was obviously making use of my considerable baseball skills that night.
5. The Wedding- This is the lone single event I can pinpoint as almost too memorable. Law met Queen very early in my time in Cstat, so I have been lucky enough to watch them grow together. I remember well the day Law walked into Best Buy (playing yet another part in my life), told me he was going to propose, and asked me to be his best man. It was a very surreal day that is still etched into my memory. I couldn’t stop thinking about what the next year and half would bring. I was thinking about all the wedding responsibilities, the bachelor party, toasts (sp?), unnecessary road trips, strippers, cocaine, wolfpacks, it seemed endless. Turns out being a best man is very easy. Plan a big night out, make a 30 second speech about how you approve of the bride, and escort the maid of honor back down the isle. But I cannot underscore how much I treasure and value that weekend. I still can almost recall the night before and day of their wedding minute by minute. As I stood their next to Law, close to Queen, with Princess 1 and Princess 2 having tears stream down their face, I realized what an absolute honor it was to stand next to my best friend on such a monumental day. To this day, I am still moved thinking about that afternoon/evening/night. I love and adore Queen and could not ask for a more perfect woman for Law or someone I consider my best friend. I do have a small bone to pick however, I don’t have any pictures from the wedding. I’m not sure if that’s allowed being best man, just not sure if the Wedding Gods are smiling on me or not. There is a semi-ironic part in this post being put up today however. I was out “relaxing” with Law last night, and he told me the longer I wait to get married the better my bachelor party will be. If it’s anything like last night, I will have a live-in maid instead of ever officially tying the knot.
I cannot count how many other great nights and people were involved my academic marathon, but when push comes to shove these were the things that stuck out and I miss the most. Life after graduation has definitely improved, but it doesn’t mean there weren’t the fondest of memories from that period in my life.